Dear Ava


A few months ago you asked me what is felt like to be in love. I still don’t have a good answer for you because most the time, I feel like I am too young & dumb to understand what love is. I feel guilty for not answering though.

I’ve spent the past two weekends up in Chicago.

Memorial Day weekend was a little chilly, but still sunny and beautiful. This past weekend was dreary. I must bring the bad weather because it was so cold while I was living in Chicago and fairly miserable each time I visit. I spent my Saturday photographing in the rain getting completely soaked.


My roommate Dan and I had discussed Chicago: how he hated it and would never come back, how I loved it but didn’t see myself living there again. I thought I was done with it and I would move elsewhere. But, each visit has left me oddly heartbroken. I miss so many stupid things about the city that even while I was happy to be there the past few weekends, under it all I was sad I would have to leave in less than 48 hours.

It might feel like this, like having infinite possibilities.

hope that helps

4 thoughts on “Dear Ava

  1. Dear Ava,

    Love is what I feel when I am presented with a nice, strawberry jello cake, made with love from my younger sister to show how delighted she is to once again be in my presence after a year.

    And I think what Annamaria might be trying to say is dearie, they’ve been struggling to define what love is since language first exists. No one really could tell you what it is, because it’s different for every person, and it doesn’t have to be this passionate, all-consuming thing that you realize right away that you love something or someone. It can take time, it can be tricky, and you may not know that it was there until it’s gone.

    It’s kind of like an emotional ninja at times.

    Hope that helps you with Annamaria’s hoping to help you with your question that you’re hoping to get an answer for.

    I will take you to the store to get ingredients for my cake when you get back.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow. Thank you for being such a great friend and mentor, and congratulations. Going to have to buy you a drink when I get back to Chicago.


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